I didn’t do justice with the title. Neither I am an outcast nor abandoned. It’s just my thoughts that make me feel so.
Have you ever felt lonely even in the presence of myriads of people. Even when you have plenty of persons to address as your friends and still lack this one person in your life. I am clearly not stating myself different form others, the one who is so special that doesn’t fit. I don’t intend to. I am unique just the way you are. Equally common. Equally special. The thing which makes me an outcast is the lack of a genuine shoulder to cry on. A listening ear to share something with. A person to laugh my heads off with.
Even though being socially super active, talking to everyone, having fun with friends- kind of girl, there is still a void in my life that has to be filled. Being oversensitive is the trait I want to eliminate in my life. But sometimes I think it’s not my fault. I never got enough pampering. Being the eldest. The most responsible one. People never saw the kid in me who craves for a little care and love. Always keeping people happy, Being there when they are sick, Asking about their problems is a thing I want to do and always will. But sometimes I need to feel that too. And losing the very best friend in my life intensifies the situation. Have no one to tell about how the day went. How I am feeling. How life is going. The void now becomes a giant black hole, where emotions get compressed and lost. No one even knows whether they existed at the first place.
Talking about my endless hobbies and few achievements isn’t about showing off. It’s just a sign that the person listening to me might find a person with same interests and I too might get a companion to spend some time with.
I might not be perfect. I might not be that best friend someone dreamt of. But if someone respects my sensitiveness and is happy to be with me she may find that I have the potential to be a decent friend. A soothing companion.
Being OUTCAST isn’t just about being alienated. It’s about feeling that emptiness which surrounds your life, paying visits now and then when you are already at your breaking point.
I believe that if you are willing and able to express yourself as well as you have here, you will not continue to be an outcast (or just outsider maybe?).
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May be Tom. Thank you for reading. It means a lot to me. I need to express my thoughts somewhere and it’s so good to see that someone do read it. There is a sense of satisfaction that I do existπ
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Same here !
P.s good work π
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Thank you Reginaaπ. It’s good to know that someone else too feel the same. And thanks for stopping byπ
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It is very good to feel Emptiness. But some final touches are to be made like a Painter who does a great Masterpiece.
I mean here some thoughts. My Dear then the word shall change from Outcast to Inner-cast.
I hope you got it.
Fond Regards
Shiva
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Yes, I did get it. The journey from outcast to inner cast is tough but worth taking. Thank you sir for reading my work and taking out time to comment. It feels goodπ
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Outcast is a pretty big word and I am sure you were going for something like ‘lonely’
Welcome to adulthood vyas!
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Yeah! Adulthood is very tiring. π¦
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The void is the reason we seek things that complete us. Your are not outcasted but introduced to yourself when alone.. Find what you love and pursue it. π
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Solitude has made me strong now. I have found my love and my passion π
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Find what you love and let it kill you – Bukowski π
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Yeah π
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